The last day of school had finally arrived. I had just finished my fourth-grade year. My friend and I were so excited to begin our summer vacation. We got busy making our plans. We went back and forth saying things like “this summer I want to dig out that fort”. Over and over again we said, “this summer I want to…” You fill in the blank. We had big plans. In our minds summer was going to last forever. However, before I knew it, I was sitting at my desk on the first day of 5th grade being assigned my textbooks for the new school year. Where did the summer go? We had plans!
Another favorite thing to say was “when I grow up I am going to…”, again, you fill in the blank. Again, I had my plans set. I remember saying “when I grow up I’m going to own a candy store”. Or, “when I grow up, I’m going to be a veterinarian”. I said “I’m never getting married and I’m never having kids! Nope”! Well, I never owned a candy store and I never became a veterinarian; no blood and guts for me. I did fall in love; I did get married 33 years ago and we do have four wonderful children.
Now, we are empty nesters, although a child will try, here and there, to slip back in for a bit. When our kids were still living at home and we were nearing the time for them to fly the coop, I sure began making plans of what I was going to do. I would be free, right? I could do what I wanted, right? Well… not exactly! I was in a sense making the “this summer I’m going to… type of plans. And you know what I now realize, all of the plans that I made were about me…my likes, my wants, and my comfort. Even when I became a believer, I never prayed about any of my big plans. Not one of my plans had the heart of a servant. God’s Word talks about us making plans. Yes, we can and do make plans, but in doing so we should be God centered and remember that if we believe in Him and believe His Word, He’s the one in authority. Proverbs 16: 9 says, “the heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. I believe that God is sovereign over my life… all my wants and all my plans.
About the time that I was ready to go after what I wanted to do, God seems to have given me some physical limitations in the form of early onset Parkinson’s disease. I am no longer “free” to do as I please. I am now dependent on several medications and somewhat have to plan how to do certain minute things because of my physical limitations which include weakness, loss of some fine motor issues, insomnia, exhaustion and balance and tremor issues if I didn’t take the meds. I’m thankful that I am able to still work. I thank God for the gift of science and medications. If you didn’t know me, you wouldn’t know that I have these struggles and limitations because thankfully it is mild compared to many and the medications help immensely.
I often feel like a child being disciplined. I feel like how I think a child feels when being trained to sit still. Sometimes, I get tempted to get angry because this is not part of my plan and I should be free, like a bird, to come and go and do as I please, and do what I want, right? After all, I’m in the best years of my life…the kids are raised; we have 4 wonderful grandchildren; we are settled in our home and so forth. However, God knows what I would be like without these boundaries placed on my life. God’s word says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD”. (Is 55:8) God has a perfect plan for my life and these limitations are for my good and His glory.
I thank God for his many blessings in my life, and I must remember that He is the blesser and the blessing. This place here on earth is not our final home; we are just passing through. “Count it all joy” Lea as James 1:2 says.
So, today as I make plans, may I do so prayerfully and lovingly surrendered to His will and may I have a postured heart to love and to serve Him and others. May my plans with or without limitations point others to the Gospel. May I learn to “sit still” with joy. May I remember to preface my plans with “if the Lord wills…” (James. 4:15), not in a legalistic way, not for the sake of just saying it, but in a way to remember that God is sovereign and is the Lord of my life.
May I keep my joy in the Lord which comes from my Savior Jesus who gave Himself up for me. He died a horrific death so that I may spend eternity with Him. Lord, may I honor you today. Nothing could bring more joy than knowing that one day I will see Him face to face!
So true!
Yes it is…. and you know this all too well.
So well said and thank you Lea for sharing your heart.
Thank you Hilda
I needed this word! Thank you Lea!
Nice getting to know you Steph.. praying for you!
Enjoyed reading and it was thought and heart provoking.
Thanking God for you, Lea, in sharing what God has brought you to understand! May we all surrender our lives to Him and take joy in serving Him however He directs.
You’re sweet Cindy.. God has and is so kind. His grace is amazing!